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The Champion You Love To Hate TM
ASHEVILLE, NC - Dec. 14, 2010
TAG HEUER announced Monday they will build on the Bad Boy
image Tiger Woods is laying down by adding another Bad
Muther Fuhker to it's 2011 endorsements. Denny Muther
Fuhkin Stevenson received "official" word that he, like TAG
HEUER, is the new right hand man for a guy gone wrong.
We caught up with Denny this afternoon, living the High Life,
and enjoying a white russian at a cougar retreat nestled in the
Blue Ridge Mountains of the bush covered Pisgah National
Forest. "It feels great to get to this level. Most people dream of
owning a Tag. I'm sponsored by them. They pay me. I get free
cell service, I have access to a bitchin machine shop. I'm like
Jame's Fuhking Bond on a bike! Yeah, I said bike fuhkface. Any
dewshe and 14 yr old can drive a car. I din't blow my way up no
corporate ladder. I fuhkin hustled for it. I don't work. I'm a
Hustler." When asked what it feels like to represent TAG HEUER.
When asked what he did to get the attention of Tag Heuer,
"Its a game of passion. Like any corporate deal you have to go
around the Asshole to get to the funny bone. I tickled the
marketing girl's ball bearing with my funny bone. Then I gave'er
a bone marrow transplant and told her to keep livin'wrong."
Really? "No. Actually they received word of my story and
hooked me up."
What story? Why Tag?
"What do you do? Use a phone for a watch? My watch is my
phone!"
You said you get asked about it all of the time, what's the story
with your watch? People say, 'it doesn't fit.' What do 'they' mean
by that? "Fuhk if I know, people are stoopid. I mowed alotta
Goddamned lawns to pay for [it]. I used to time myself how fast I
could mow a lawn. That was dumb. You can get hurt doing that
shit. I was anal. Take your time. Do a good job. I've represented
TAG HEUER since '97. Paid cash with money Ma won in a
bingo game on a cruise ship." I thought you said you mowed
alotta lawns to pay for it? "Well, I did. See, the year before, she
took me on a cruise for Christ Mass. The only thing I packed
was my disco outfit an'a skin suit. So anyhow, I showed her how
to play bingo and then I showed her how to win. She went back
the next year and won the Grand Game. Big $$$. She always
believed in giving back 10%. She gave me the watch I had given
her the money to buy. You know, if she happened to see the
one I wanted. The Universe is magic. My watch is Bitchin.
It represents The Value of Time."
When asked for his philosophy on the World he says, "The
bottom line is, the World is full of pussy's, dicks, assholes, titties
and bitches. There's also a few bad ass muther fuhkers out
there. Some of them are women. Don't fuhk with any of them.
You'll get your ass kicked. I'm not bullshittin'. They'll shit down
your throat before they lie to ya."
When asked about hanging out with Tiger, he replied "We have
no plans. He's invited. I'd love to take his ass up that mountain,
shove some redneck's boot up his ass an say, 'What the fuhk
were you thinking?' But that's not my style. That, and he's
probably too big a pussy to hang with me. I got his bike when he
comes to town, though. A place to stay too. I know I could teach
him something about those sticks. I'll show him a round, and a
bitchin good time.
You can keep up with Denny on the professional single speed
national mountain bike circuit or catch up with him at a Cougar
Den near you.
He admits he will retreat to the PISGAH National Forest where
he's helping Tiger build a motocross golf course, orgnanic
complex. For moments of truth, solitude, beauty, Mother Nature,
Cougar lounging, waterfalls, beer and understanding The Value
of Time, Pisgah is the place. A fine manufacturer of precise
Swiss watches and other fine goods, TAG HEUER has backed
Tiger Woods since he was a good name in golf.
And now back to The Cougar Nationals.
TAG HEUER announced Monday they will build on the Bad Boy
image Tiger Woods is laying down by adding another Bad
Muther Fuhker to it's 2011 endorsements. Denny Muther
Fuhkin Stevenson received "official" word that he, like TAG
HEUER, is the new right hand man for a guy gone wrong.
We caught up with Denny this afternoon, living the High Life,
and enjoying a white russian at a cougar retreat nestled in the
Blue Ridge Mountains of the bush covered Pisgah National
Forest. "It feels great to get to this level. Most people dream of
owning a Tag. I'm sponsored by them. They pay me. I get free
cell service, I have access to a bitchin machine shop. I'm like
Jame's Fuhking Bond on a bike! Yeah, I said bike fuhkface. Any
dewshe and 14 yr old can drive a car. I din't blow my way up no
corporate ladder. I fuhkin hustled for it. I don't work. I'm a
Hustler." When asked what it feels like to represent TAG HEUER.
When asked what he did to get the attention of Tag Heuer,
"Its a game of passion. Like any corporate deal you have to go
around the Asshole to get to the funny bone. I tickled the
marketing girl's ball bearing with my funny bone. Then I gave'er
a bone marrow transplant and told her to keep livin'wrong."
Really? "No. Actually they received word of my story and
hooked me up."
What story? Why Tag?
"What do you do? Use a phone for a watch? My watch is my
phone!"
You said you get asked about it all of the time, what's the story
with your watch? People say, 'it doesn't fit.' What do 'they' mean
by that? "Fuhk if I know, people are stoopid. I mowed alotta
Goddamned lawns to pay for [it]. I used to time myself how fast I
could mow a lawn. That was dumb. You can get hurt doing that
shit. I was anal. Take your time. Do a good job. I've represented
TAG HEUER since '97. Paid cash with money Ma won in a
bingo game on a cruise ship." I thought you said you mowed
alotta lawns to pay for it? "Well, I did. See, the year before, she
took me on a cruise for Christ Mass. The only thing I packed
was my disco outfit an'a skin suit. So anyhow, I showed her how
to play bingo and then I showed her how to win. She went back
the next year and won the Grand Game. Big $$$. She always
believed in giving back 10%. She gave me the watch I had given
her the money to buy. You know, if she happened to see the
one I wanted. The Universe is magic. My watch is Bitchin.
It represents The Value of Time."
When asked for his philosophy on the World he says, "The
bottom line is, the World is full of pussy's, dicks, assholes, titties
and bitches. There's also a few bad ass muther fuhkers out
there. Some of them are women. Don't fuhk with any of them.
You'll get your ass kicked. I'm not bullshittin'. They'll shit down
your throat before they lie to ya."
When asked about hanging out with Tiger, he replied "We have
no plans. He's invited. I'd love to take his ass up that mountain,
shove some redneck's boot up his ass an say, 'What the fuhk
were you thinking?' But that's not my style. That, and he's
probably too big a pussy to hang with me. I got his bike when he
comes to town, though. A place to stay too. I know I could teach
him something about those sticks. I'll show him a round, and a
bitchin good time.
You can keep up with Denny on the professional single speed
national mountain bike circuit or catch up with him at a Cougar
Den near you.
He admits he will retreat to the PISGAH National Forest where
he's helping Tiger build a motocross golf course, orgnanic
complex. For moments of truth, solitude, beauty, Mother Nature,
Cougar lounging, waterfalls, beer and understanding The Value
of Time, Pisgah is the place. A fine manufacturer of precise
Swiss watches and other fine goods, TAG HEUER has backed
Tiger Woods since he was a good name in golf.
And now back to The Cougar Nationals.
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